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Self Care
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January 6, 2019

You may not be where you want to be, and that’s okay

Not being where you want to be is frustrating. I feel like a lot of people are pushed towards having a goal, having a certain lifestyle, and looked down on if that may not be where you are. After years of battling myself inside and out, I have learned that I am not where I want to be, but it is okay.

I have been put under pressure my entire life. Make perfect grades, get married to someone successful, graduate top of your class, you name it! So, the real question is, what do we do? Can you please everyone? Trust me, the answer is no.

There are a few steps that really lead to being happy where you are, and as much as I wish things were easier, everything takes time.

What happens if we feel not good enough?

So glad you asked! I don’t think that is ever something that you can truly get over. Some people focus primarily on negativity, and that is how they live their lives. We all wish we could say that we can avoid those people easily, but there is probably one in your circle of friends.

I think that we are our biggest critics though.  My biggest critic is definitely me! A huge factor in not feeling “good enough” is comparing ourselves to others. We have to remember that everyone has a different life, different struggles, and different opportunities. Do I wish I was writing for an incredible magazine? Yes, but do I love my blog? Absolutely.

Where are you trying to go?

A lot of time when I talk about “not being where I want,” or “being lost”, I ask myself, where am I actually trying to go? Would I have wanted to settle for a job that I probably wouldn’t enjoy? What if I had children? Am I ready for that? If I had married an ex-boyfriend, would it actually have worked out?

Since I have begun asking myself these questions, I have noticed a change in my attitude towards things. I have been looking forward to the future for once, and not looking back to my past mistakes. If where you want to be is a new career, take those steps!

There is always time

You may be sitting on your couch, and guess what, I am too! Even though you may not be a happy camper today, tomorrow holds tons of opportunities. You could get that job you have been wanting, you could finally get that break in blogging, or you could meet the love of your life in the deli section at the grocery store.

Whatever is causing you to feel not good enough can change in the blink of an eye, and that is something to always remember. You probably need to make sure you are ready for changes that you are dreaming of though!

Personally, I have had a million dreams and desires. I have not seen many of those crazy ideas come to fruition, but I think it is important for us to never stop dreaming, and never give up the drive or motivation we have. I know, I sound like your mother, but momma is always right! Being where you want to be in not a race, it is a marathon.

Life is full of ups and downs

If I said that every day of my life was the best day, I would be a liar, and no one likes that. Being where you want to be is not the only way to live, keep that in mind! I recently read a blog post about gratitude on The Quiet Mind, where Lucie talks about how to bring gratitude into your life, and that is something I definitely forget to do.

Celebrating small things each day can increase your overall happiness, and a lot of small goals will eventually create a big goal! I felt great after reading her post, and I wanted to make sure I shared it to you. It is just one of the great posts there as well.

Next time you log onto social media, do not feel bad because you are not getting engaged, having a child, or working your dream job. Everyone has their own path, and you are already on yours. Just enjoy the scenery.

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  • Larry Lewis
    January 14, 2019

    We all aspire for more. To have more, to be more, to do more. Life can be a struggle, but never giving up and going for what we want can keep our motivation high. The key is, no matter what, believe in ourselves, our possibilities, and keep on fighting. I love your writing by the way, so keep on blogging.

    Reply
    • ashleestuart
      Larry Lewis
      January 14, 2019

      Thank you so much, and this is so true!

      Reply
  • Nathalie
    March 15, 2019

    Thank you Ashlee for this beautiful text. I feel that the “I’m not where I should be” feeling is rising these past years, but I noticed that it often comes with the question: and where exactly should I be?
    I know that I have this feeling sometimes, that I should get towards my life goal but I have to first figure out what it is…
    But yes, it shouldn’t prevent us for enjoying our life as it is!

    Reply
    • ashleestuart
      Nathalie
      March 15, 2019

      Totally girl! Whenever I start feeling that way, I always think about where I was in terms of my goals, and that always helps!

      Reply

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