Choosing to take the time to work on yourself is one of the best things you can do. Not only are you growing with intention, but your vibration also is contagious and addictive to those around you. Sometimes the actual process of self-love can get a bad rap, but it doesn’t have to. Here are 10 self-love myths that I am clearing up!
Self-Love is Selfish
This is one of the biggest self-love myths out there1 For most people, they think self-love means they are just focusing on themselves. While there is a lot of inner work in self-love, that is not all that it is. Self-love encompasses a great deal of things including how we are approaching our lives in terms of our relationships with others.
Self-love can help you make sure you are bringing your best self into everything you do. Is wanting to be the best person for your friends, families, or even coworkers really that bad? There is room for everyone to expand into their best selves.
You’re Too Old For Self-Love
How many times have you heard that self-love is for kids? Honestly, I have heard it more times than you can imagine. Working on our best self has no age limit. If you are thirteen (get your parents approval, omg) or if you are 75+, there is nothing wrong with choosing to focus on your life and happiness. Self-love is appropriate at any age, and it can improve the quality of your life. Trust me, people who have less stress and more self-love are living a longer and more fulfilling life.
Self-Love Doesn’t Work
If someone tells you that self-love doesn’t work, they are either doing it for the wrong reasons, or they just are not dedicating themselves to the process. Increasing your self-love/self-worth, anything is not an overnight event. It takes a long time to get yourself to a place of higher self. There is a lot of difficult work in self-love and most people do not want to battle those inner demons or release their pain. If you are truly focused on self-love, you are going to feel your life change.
Only the Weak Focus on Self-Love
It takes a stronger person to look inside of themselves than it does for someone to just ignore their thoughts and feelings. If you continue to just ignore things, they are not going away. By facing your fears, your demons, whatever it is, you are eliminating them from your existence. You are creating a space to grow, expand your vision, and raise your vibration. Like I said, self-love is dirty work sometimes. By facing these issues, you are becoming stronger every day.
Self-Love is Desperate
I’m sorry, but what is desperate about wanting to become the best version of you?! If anything, you should be desperately trying to improve your life each and every day. For some, traditional therapy or systems do not work, and the process of self-love allows them to work at their own pace, stay private about their goals and vision, and to actually do the work without having to stand on a building.
Self-Love is New and Misunderstood
I hate to break it to you, but there is nothing new about self-love. People have been looking inside of themselves since the beginning of time. We are our own worst enemies, but we are also our own best friends. If you think self-love is confusing, you are simply not absorbing the right kind of content. If you are someone who spends most of their time listening to podcasts, try to watch videos, take a course, or read a blog. It may give you a better understanding to have something visual.
Reading Some Words is Going to Do Nothing For You
I don’t know about you, but I feel my best self when I reading something that really resonates with me. Not only do I absorb as much content as I can per day, but there are often things in videos, podcasts, courses, or books that I take into my heart immediately! If you have been trying to start your self-love journey but are not feeling anything, you are not on the right path.
A lot of us have read articles, posts, or listened to self-love content that we just were not connected to. Changes are, you actually did not need that message when you read it. I highly recommend going back to different things you have read and taking another look, it may be exactly what you need right now.
It’s All Bubble Baths and Clay Masks
Is taking a nice bath and working on your skincare an effective self-love practice? Um YES! Anytime that you are taking the time to focus on yourself, you are practicing self-love. For some that may be taking a nice bath at the end of a long day. For others, it may be week-long retreats in the desert. Self-love is not a one-size-fits-all lifestyle. There are many different interpretations and self-love practices that you can do each day. If you are looking for more self-love practices to add to your life, this post from LifeHack has some amazing ideas!
Self-Love is Unrealistic and Unapproachable
This is another one of the most popular self-love myths out there. Self-love is a realistic solution for those looking to improve their lives and happiness. You can practice self-love anywhere and at any time. There are so many great courses, books, and creators who make self-love something that is easy to get started in. They also break it down so that anyone can begin their self-love journey. Self-love requires a lot of inner work that you can do on your own, or you can also use a coach or guide to help you start your path and create your ideal vision.
It is a Facade
There are a lot of people out there who think the entire idea of self-love is completely fake. They think that life is the way it is, and whatever happens to you is what is just going to happen to you. In all honestly, I used to be one of those people until I had a calling a few years ago to reconsider self-love. You and I are living proof that self-love is not a facade or a myth or even a fad. It is a real way to change your life and enjoy all of the benefits that the universe has to offer us.
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Candice
These are super helpful!
Thanks for sharing.
ashleestuart
CandiceYou’re so welcome girl!
Lisa Autumn
That self-love is selfish is honestly the biggest misconception! Thank you for the post lovely x
Lisa | lisaautumn.com
ashleestuart
Lisa AutumnYou’re so welcome Lisa, thank you for reading!
Gemma
Self love is so important! Sometimes face masks and hot bubble baths are exactly what we need to unwind and relax, to help us tackle the life ahead! Such great points xo
Gemma | Makeup Muddle
ashleestuart
GemmaOmg, so true! I love a good bubble bath on a daily basis!
Danielle
I love this blog post, it is so important to show ourselves a little self love every now and again!
Danielle
https://www.thereluctantblogger.co.uk/
ashleestuart
DanielleFor sure, and there is nothing wrong with focusing on ourselves!
Des | itsbetterinheels
What a great post!! Truly inspiring! Thanks for sharing this + totally bookmarking it for future reading whenever I need that extra pick me up lol.
Des | https://www.itsbetterinheels.com
ashleestuart
Des | itsbetterinheelsThat makes me so happy Desiree! I’m glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for reading!
Julia
This post!! There are so many misconceptions about self-love and you’ve done an amazing job showing why they’re wrong. You hear it from people around you – “quotes won’t change your life”, “it’s not because you put nail polish on that you’ll take better care of yourself”… Sometimes it’s sad because ideas like these are so not helpful for those like us working on our self-care and self-love. So thank you for this post, there are many many people who should read it ♥
Have an awesome week! 🙂 x
Julia x
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ashleestuart
JuliaI fully agree Julia. So many of us are different with unique schedules. For some, it may seem redundant to meditate or paint your nails, but for others, it may be a huge step on their journey!